"Feminists" is a pretty broad term, covers a lot of people. Many of them are motivated by anger and bear the attitudes you describe... but there are others who are wiser and more well rounded in their approach. Having spent many years studying social sciences and humanities at a major university, I've had the privilege of knowing many such people.

My feminist friends are, for the most part, compassionate and not man hating. A few are. And I know that there are many others around who wouldn't even be able to be my friend, so there's a clear selection bias in the feminists I've encountered.

Suffice it to say that both exist. Many feminists want to end violence against everyone. Others want to work with intelligent and compassionate men (and non-men), powerful in their own right, collaborating for the purposes of mutual liberation and the downfall of patriarchal apparati...

All depends on which "feminism" we're talking about.

Btw, most my feminist friends to whom I've talked about ballbusting have accepted it as a fetish without judgement but for the most part not been terribly interested in doing it themselves. One mentioned how a past boyfriend of hers was into it, and she didn't mind squeezing his nuts for him but it didn't really do anything for her in particular. A couple of them are into it themselves. But anyway the smart feminists at least are united in not just thinking it's "weird."